Do you feel loved by people around you?
Do you spend a lot of time caring for others more than yourself ?
Are you struggling to learn how to love yourself ?
What's your relationship with yourself?
The first question I always ask to my clients is, "what's your relationship with yourself?" When this question is asked, it often brings about silence due to the fact that it is not a question that gets posed on a daily basis.
If you're unsure about what you like or what you want, it can be difficult to recognise gestures of love from others also. Here is a very simple example: there have so many types of chocolate in the market to choose from, just like milk. Do you prefer the creamy goodness of milk chocolate, the richness of dark 70%, chilli or sea salt flavour ? If you don't know your preferences, you may end up choosing anything off the shelf. My favour is chilli flavour, it is my go-to treat. When someone wan to give you a gift, they would naturally pick that particular type of flavour for you.
Just like a message you're sending to the world that you deserve this type of treat.
'Like attract like', the law of attraction suggests that similar energies attract one another. Therefore, the energy (the message) you put out into the universe is what you'll receive in return, multiplied many times over. When you cherish yourself, you will radiate that love and positive energy to others, experiencing greater happiness and fulfilment, and your relationships with others also improve. I have personally observed numerous clients, who, when feeling content and delighted, their family dynamics is also improved, with children crying less and listening better, while their bond with partners grew stronger and harmonious.
Specially, women, their emotional well-being can affect the atmosphere of the household. There is a Chinese proverb that states "Men are expected to take responsibility for external matters such as work, while women are in charge of domestic issues such as household chores and childcare". Nonetheless, women are now increasingly joining the workforce and financially supporting their families. From a metaphysical viewpoint, a woman's energy or emotional state can greatly impact the overall ambiance of her home and the quality of relationships within it.
How do you treat yourself, talk to yourself ?
First thing first, have you taken the time to truly understand yourself?
How do you talk to yourself (the inner voice) ?
Are you aware of the reasoning behind it?
Would you speak the same way to your friends?
Especially during tough times in life, you make a mistake, encounter a separation or broken heart. In those moment, how do you show yourself love without judging or shaming? No matter how far you walk or how long you meditate, your mind may still wander and revisit past memories, causing you to feel small and responsible. Does this sound familiar?
Knowing yourself means acknowledging your boundaries, beliefs, and building a positive sense of self-esteem. By nurturing your self-esteem and self-worth, you'll be able to offer and receive love while discovering the path to self-love, respect and empathy. Avoid over-giving and allow yourself to accept love.
How to love yourself or more ?
Self-care and self-love are not the same, but they do go hand in hand. When you love yourself, you treat yourself kindly, both emotionally and physically. A multitude of activities geared towards physical self-care, like indulging in spa treatments, taking brisk walks, participating in yoga or dance, working out, and spending time with people we enjoy, can be beneficial. Since moving our bodies has the power to boost our well-being, it's a great place to start.
By changing our mindset, letting go of negative self-talk, and cultivating a more optimistic inner voice, we can take self-care to a deeper level. Here are some exercise to get started:
Asking for help - It is a sign of strength, not weakness. It shows that you recognise your own limitations and are willing to reach out to others for support. By expressing your needs, you can avoid misunderstandings and ensure that your needs are being met.
Forgiving yourself - Making mistakes is a part of the learning process and provides us with valuable opportunities to grow and learn. It's okay to not be perfect. Treat yourself the way you would treat a good friend who made a mistake.
Practice self-compassion to yourself. We are our own worst critics, we judge and berate ourselves rather than show ourselves the love and kindness we deserve. When you practice self-compassion, you start to acknowledge your worth and value.
Accepting our talents and limitations - By recognising our limitations, we can ask for help when we approach to those areas. By accepting our talents, we can build on our strengths and use them to achieve our goals and pursue our passions
Take credit - It's common for many of us to feel hesitant in taking credit for our accomplishments or good deeds. When we do the right things or accomplish something great, celebrate it. Taking credit for our work not only uplift our own confidence and self-esteem, as well as inspires others to strive for their own greatness.
Have Fun ! Release your concerns and responsibilities, and give yourself permission to fully embrace the present moment. Giggle, have fun, and discover the world with a youthful, inquisitive mindset.
Finding your purpose in life is crucial for achieving happiness and success. When we engage in activities what we enjoy, and allow our passions to guide us towards our ultimate purpose. When we do what we love without any expectation, we are free to explore and discover new things, and to find meaning and fulfilment in the present moment.
Push yourself - Whether it's taking up a new hobby, or learning a new language, stepping out of your comfort zone can be a rewarding experience. By accepting new challenges and trying something different, you're expanding your knowledge and skills, which can increase your confidence and enrich your life. It can be easy to get stuck in a rut doing the same things over and over, but by purposefully seeking out new experiences, you can broaden your horizons and improve your overall well-being.
Affirmations - I love affirmations and always use it, such as "I am enough" and "I love myself". By repeating these affirmations, I am able to put my thinking in a positive direction. Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts, this helps me to stay motivated and look forward to a brighter future.
Mindfulness meditation: Take a few minutes each day to sit quietly and observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This practice can help you become more aware of your emotional state and develop greater self-compassion.
Gratitude journaling: Each day, write down three things you're grateful for. This can help shift your focus towards the positive aspects of your life and cultivate a sense of gratitude.
Remember, this is an ongoing process that takes time and practice.
Be patient with yourself!